Traveling your State of Mind

THE DOUGLAS COUNTY LIAR NEWS AND VIEWS

The news that’s fit to think about

Today I was thinking about strange names, real places, just names that we never talk about unless we live in the Towns that I am about to mention. Sit back and let’s take a journey and not even leave our State of Georgia.

Let’s say you were talking to a friend, or a neighbor and you really wanted them to think you were a real traveler around the world.

So your friend and you are sitting maybe at a coffee shop, or your company office, and when they are done bragging about where they have been. It’s your turn and you really want to lay it on thick.

You sit back and say, “That’s great that you had a good vacation or whatever, and say I just got home from Boston, I had been in Cleveland and my company wanted me to head off to Fargo, but I told them that was too far North for me, so they decided to send me to Berlin, but I explained that my German was really rusty”. Now your friends head is starting to turn, after all they did not know you were so up in the world. You also added “while in Washington you found that it was too crowded for my kind of life style. So you decided to take the next flight off to Athens seems like everyone said it was a really pretty place, but to be honest all I seen was ruins.”

“Then while boarding an airliner”, I met this wonderful lady and she said “You need to stop off in Vienna”, well since I was traveling on company money I thought “Why Not”. When I got there I had to go almost everywhere by boat because of all the canals. To me getting around was a pain and those guys doing the paddling, all they wanted to do was sing, and I was the only person in the boat so I got my fill of Vienna. That’s when I met a couple and they said what I really needed was to take a trip to Cairo with a stop off in Lebanon and then make my way to Bethlehem and finish off at Sparta. Ok, everything was great, the weather was too hot for me and the Damascus Road was long and winding, so I stopped my journey in Athens, where I caught the next flight back to Albany in the United States.

You could say I was happy to be home and spend some time with my close friends in Americus, where all Americans come to see the home of Former President Jimmy Carter, whose home is in Plains, but a good nights rest comes in Americus since this is the biggest town next to Plains.

When your company leaves knowing all the places you have traveled, they look kind of dumb.

Well when you get hone, your tired as you enter the door and your wife is wondering how your day went? That’s when you sit down and take your shoes off and say “I am so tired from all the travel I have done”.

That’s when your wife asks that question you knew would be coming? “Where you been and why did you not take me”?

Your reply “Honey, I love you but I traveled so far that you would have never have made it, plus that I knew I had to get home because you were cooking and I did not want to miss dinner”

My wife gave me a look of despair and steamed into the kitchen and that’s all she said nothing which was fine with me.

Now as I was sitting back in my recliner I was really thinking about some of the names I never mentioned like, “Social Circle”, sounds like a good town to retire in, and then there was “Talking Rock”, I laughed, and wondered who was listening.

What about “Dixie”, now that is a Southern name, can you imagine saying I was born in Dixie? The response would be which part?

Then there is “Box Springs”, now that is a town, I just hope when you buy the bed, the box springs come along.

How about “Church Street”, I wonder how many different churches are in this town.

The towns that really get me or “Experiment”, now this is a town I have to visit, I mean this sounds like a Sci-fiction novel name. Is this where the BLOB came from?

What about “Enigma”, I mean what does this mean? Then we have town called “Mystic” which to me goes great if you live close to “Experiment”.

The town of “Boneville” has me really thinking could this be the largest cemetery?

Come on now aren’t you having fun?

The town the needs a new name is “GAY” and it seems like people would want to move away, then again maybe some or gay there.

But the last three I really like, I mean take “Radium Springs” that is some water, I don’t even want to get close to.

Or what about “Lithia Springs”, if you ever tasted lithium then you would never take another drink, and the people tried to pass it off as “ a love potion” , good try.

Last “Sandy Springs”, now that name makes sense and you know you will find lots of people wading in water with a good sandy bottom.

Let’s not leave out “Newborn”, or “Ballpark” or “Temple”, “Drake town”, or “Roopville”. All these names or names you should sit back and study and ask who picked those names?

One more really interesting note, and this is a fact, would you believe there is not a single town in Georgia that starts with the letter “X”? I wonder why?

Hope you enjoyed your travels, and by the way all these places or found right here in our great State of Georgia. So you see I never left the State but traveled all over, now I am tired and need to get a nap before my wife calls me for dinner.

Augustino Patti Jr.

Monday, January 14, 2008

FOOTBAL AND SNOW

Douglas County “Liar” News and Views

The news and views that make your day

It’s snowing in Georgia and everyone is out taking photographs of the weather, the trees, and their children playing in it. It is so amazing what the folks here in the South will do when we have snow come in. They have already stocked up because they think we are in for a blizzard and we won’t be able to travel to the stores, so the food is in the house and the weather is on the TV, as we watch and listen to our favorite weather man predict what is going to happen.

Fox Five in Atlanta has a meteorologist named Ken Cook, who I heard say that after all the predictions he had made that snow was on the way, he got a little worried when outside his home the weather was not doing what he had told us. So he got up and paced the floor watching the skies and wondering if his prediction would be right or wrong. That must be a weather man’s worst nightmare.

Then he said he looked out his door and there it was falling from the sky, small snow flakes that turned into larger ones and he knew he was right.

Yes, he was right and all the computers did not let him down. So you could say Mr. Cook felt mighty good when he was able to tell us that he had made the correct prediction.

It also made every child happy because they wanted the snow, so they could go make a snowman something that is rare in the South. They could even have that snowball fight, or get some card board and make a homemade sled so they could slide down snow covered hills. You must remember that up North, children have this to do all the time, that’s why they still sell sleds. When is the last time you went out and bought a sled for your kids?

Can you imagine at Christmas time they woke up and ran to open their presents and under the tree was a “Sled”, what would they do, think “Are you Crazy”?

Snow is great if you like it and don’t have to drive, or work in it, but if I have anything to say about it, which I don’t, I would say “NO TO SNOW”.

All I can say is I would rather have snow than ICE, because some folks down south can’t drive in the rain, what will they do when faced with “Snow” and that later turns to “ICE”?

So all I can say is “Let’s all enjoy this white stuff on the ground, since it’s a weekend and we can sit home and watch TV and relax”. Let’s also hope that it’s gone by Monday because some of us may have a busy work week.

The only really advantage of having Snow during the weekend is that the NFL Championship games are on Sunday and if you want to feel like your at the New York Giants game in frigid Lambeau field where the Green Bay Packers play, you will feel right at home.

You may even want to get a “Cheese Head” to wear around the house that should send your wife rushing out of the room.

The early game for the National Football League Championship game can be viewed at around 2 pm eastern standard time.

That game is one that everyone wants to see, because of the New England Patriots, their team has not lost a game all season setting a NFL Record.

They may have the best team with a great quarterback in that of Tom Brady, but I will not say that the team they are up against is in no hurry to exist the season. The San Diego Chargers will be playing in front of a hostile New England crowd, and a team that wants to make history.

No one is giving the Chargers a chance at beating the Patriots, but this writer is willing to let it all hang out and say the Chargers will defeat the Patriots in a upset game, and they will go on to meet the winner of the Giants-Packers

This game will start at around 6 pm Eastern Standard Time. If my predictions are correct the Super bowl game will match the San Diego Chargers against the New York Giants.

So snow, are no snow, my eyes will be glued to the TV and please remember if you have to travel the roads, please be safe and get where you are going and come back safe and sound.

Augustino Patti Jr.

Sunday, January 20, 2008